(A mistaken Identity)
By Ab Hameed Dar
Who are you:- this was the response, which I received back to one of my Distress Call (E-mail) sent to one of my loved one , few days back who just cures my ailing Body (in the name of the Allah0 when I am unwell. I got perplexed and was in a fix as I was finding it very difficult to access or find or establish my identify in person i.e. with in my (MOOJOOD) or that of my Physical Existence or who I am in person now? I took it for granted , that I have lost my personal identity or that of my existence and for sure now I am Actually a faded Glory and a Non identify in their eyes with my both Zeal and Zest or “AKELL TEE SHEKELL” Blown to winds in this advanced age and now I am just like an Antique piece in the show case of my family drawing Room, I tries my level Best to work on certain conclusion – like a winning stroke as how to should identify or introduce myself to the other party in question – what I know, I remember by now – I in person have gone through number of identities I,e that is on my birth or as a baby I was given a pet name – then a formal Name – which still persists and this name is also suffering along with my sufferings of my life or that of my existence till date. Firstly I was a boy – than a student, then a youth – than groom or (Mahraz Lalla) then became a civil servant – then became a Papa (A Family care taker) – and as a Sarkari Babu told hard as hard I could. But Alas consuming almost a period of more than three decades of my life. – OH – this period passed like a wicker – simply just looking to established or identity myself and that of the member of my family . But time and tide waits for non. I was soon given the marching orders of my retirement or told that your time is over – and I was shown the door. So retired or resilient now TIRED. But it was not an end to my life. But during this period OH ALAS. I have lost my parents my brothers – my loved ones – my bosom friends – my well wishers – my teachers who taught and spend my career – my colleagues – affectionate neighbors and best among them being my (LukChaar) my youth – the casualness , the joy , the thrill , the prelate service type of life in transit. WAS IT NOT A HEAVY Price of my identity . I still toiled very hard as hard as I could. But it is form devine, your destinations , goals are fixed. Half way during this journey. Met with a Terrible accident but thank Allah survived. Resulting that I became a physically challenged soul for rest of my life.
Again my identity was at stake. Because now I had no more of “AURR JAAN DURR KUTT” physical well being and I have lost both of them now. The faithful they struck to my side like an iron wall and rest of the lord them mostly ditched and left to seek heavens as for them I was not Now – RAISED to POWER – Neither I was at that point of time.
So now I started so talking refuge in small norms of the worldly identities – like my ex-official identity Card / my Pan Card/ Credit Card/ Ration Card House No, Revenue record references / even land mark near my place of dwelling etc. but neither in a person , not my conscious was reconciling to bank on these worldly identities – as my very existence was challenged so often , so often repeatedly by one and all which hurt me very much and even my loud ones with whom I was trying to Bank upon in this crayon of life of IDENTITES AND EXISTENCE, so there worldly identities does not mutter a fig – a fig to me and they are just like the peanuts of life, so the most befitting conclusion and consolation could be found in these Kashmiri Language Poet Verses.
“HAA PAANNE BAH KUSS GOSEE” “PAANNE AUUS BEH HAHANYEE”
(It is the Allah who is everywhere and I am a none identity)
So strive for your identity for your adobe or AKHEERRA – be careful and travel Light in this Mortal World.
Thanks
(The author is Ex. Dy. General Manager JKTDC Srinagar and can be contacted at 9596006145)
(Article pledged to my life partner and to my children for their devoted services)
Comments are closed.